Rule-Breaking

Rule-Breaking: It’s taking a break from your tired patterns of behaving and gaining a slice of freedom

Fresh Fallen Snow

The storm is over and it left behind a bright white covering over everything. The entire outside is brand new and untouched. Think of your day like this. When you take the first step to start your day it is the same routine as always, but today’s footprint is brand new. Your new day is all yours, and you can decide how you want to experience it.

Rule-breaking is doing something familiar in a new way to see how it feels. Rule-breaking is also doing something you do not normally do. It is an opportunity to have a new experience, and possibly a new outcome.

A Commitment-Free Test Drive

When you do something differently to see how it feels, there is no commitment to continue. The opposite of rule-breaking is something like a New Year’s Resolution. Rather than making the commitment before you make the change, rule-breaking allows you to make a change before you make the commitment. It is not heavy – rather, it is light and easy. Also, rule-breaking does not require planning ahead. It is a decision that is better if it is made in the moment. When you are able to break rules, you are being mindful and acting with intention.

Poking Holes in a Pattern

Rule-breaking is fun. It is refreshing to do something different and it is also interesting to experience a new outcome. In addition, rule-breaking weakens unhelpful patterns of responding and also strengthens new, more helpful patterns. Visualize a habit like jumping on a trampoline. As you continue to jump, getting off the trampoline is difficult. Breaking rules is like skipping a jump. It weakens the power of the rebound and provides some new control over what happens next. You are free now to act the way you like – and if you jump again in the future it will be an intentional decision, not directed by an unwanted habit.

Recognize and Reflect

The essential ingredient with rule-breaking is recognizing that a rule is being broken and reflecting on how it feels. Rule-breaking may be related to eating patterns or something else entirely. Here are some examples:

• Encountering stressors: Respond with compassion in a context you would typically respond in anger (child makes a mess, poor decisions other drivers make, how you respond when you are the one making a mistake)
•  Eating out: Switch something up, like a typical menu item (order water instead of soda, get the side salad and eat it, order something different for a change)
• Transitions: Find a way to intentionally unwind after work (a shower, going to the gym, putting on music)
• Connecting with others: Mix up how you say hello or good-bye, or how you show love (hug a little longer, hold your eye contact, respond to the mindless question “how are you?” with something that might lift the other person up)
• Being present: Experience now more fully by doing it differently (petting the dog, stretching, attending to the experiences of others)

It is also possible to be distracted and break a rule accidentally. For example, having an intimate conversation with a friend over lunch and eating more slowly. Normally, you might find scarfing the food to be the fun way to do it – but today you did something different. If you can notice and reflect on this difference, then you may benefit from its effect.

You can’t do it wrong, you can’t mess it up.

That’s all, nothing more. Be confident, enjoy it, don’t over think it.

Become a rule-breaking expert on your own or with the Eight This reflections in the No Weigh app.

Are you ready for something different?