Feeling Bad About Your Body: What Your Experience May Be Telling You
HINT: It’s not to start a diet.
Some days, or moments, or weeks at a time, we can feel bad about our bodies. Getting wrapped up in this feeling, analyzing it for meaning, and allowing it to guide you through daily life may lead to self-defeating responses (such as relying on unhelpful habits). Rather, a behavior analytic point-of-view calls out the bad body feels and neutralizes the negativity so you can get back to feeling like you.
Feeling bad about your body is just a temporary situation. It does not mean that there is anything to actually feel bad about.
First, notice.
Zoom Out—What can you see?
If you ever took a first aid or CPR class, you might remember being told to “check the scene” when approaching an accident. Try approaching your feeling bad situation the same way. The beautiful thing about behavior analysis is that revealing the cause of a problem also reveals its solution. The first step though is to view the situation within its context—otherwise your bad feelings will be leading the way (…to more bad feelings).
What’s Going on with Your Body Right Now?
Tired?
Sick?
Recovering?
Chronic pain/soreness?
Rule 1 of behavior analysis is to look for physiological stressors. A painful earache will cause children to be tearful or aggressive. The same is true of adult ailments. Feeling bad is a cue to check in with your physical experience to see if anything is off. Back pain, menstrual hormonal changes, poor sleep, sinus pressure—these experiences make us vulnerable to using unhelpful habits and responses.
If you identify a physical problem that is chronic, such as nerve pain caused by a chronic condition or tiredness from parenting small children, then your focus can be on how to make these experiences a little bit better. During these moments of life where physical problems are continuous it is important to accept the influence these experiences have on your daily live and use a compassionate and gentle approach. Attempting extreme goals will be different in these cases, compared to times when your physical health is more optimal.
Check Your Value Gauge
Are you thinking a lot of negative thoughts?
Do you have regular and steady moments of joy in your daily life?
Consider your value gauge as essential to your ability to function, comparable to the gas or electric charge in your car. We need to feel warmth and purpose and connection. It is not a luxury that happy people enjoy. Rather, none of us can feel like ourselves if we cannot readily access connection and joy.
If you find that your value gauge is low then begin with connection. Intend to be more present (mindful) in your everyday experiences. This includes every mundane activity of daily life.
Sources of Value in Everyday Life
- Noticing Others. When in public, notice the experiences of others such as the elderly or those who are working around you. Practice patience when in line or driving. Notice children whenever they are around. Children more readily share their vulnerability with everyone around them, you just need to notice.
- Love Creations. What type of creativity do you most appreciate? Is it music? cars? humor? fashion? Whatever it is—notice it throughout the contexts of your daily life. If you can, take a 3-sec pause to fully connect with the experience and enhance its value.
- Nature. Experience nature with all of your senses. Breath deep when outside, feel the shower water interact with your body, notice a candle flame and see it dance. Nature is an endless well of value and will always lead you back to your true authentic self.
Now Do Something, Differently.
It is time to break some rules. Nothing reconnects us faster to our daily lives than living them differently. Rule-breaking is a no-commitment, super-easy, on-the-fly technique for creating motivation and making your context brand-new.
BREAKING RULES
Learned behaviors are a necessary part of life—they drive the car, tie the shoes, and even make small talk with strangers. While we value our helpful habits, unhelpful habits tend to cause us distress. Notice when you are about to engage in an unhelpful habit and skip it this time. Then enjoy the sweet freedom of breaking that rule (read more on rule-breaking). Here are some examples:
- Negative thinking
- Negative talking
- Scrolling too long on phone
- Unwanted snacking
- Eating until full
- Hiding your body
- Judging others
Feeling Bad is a Cue
Feeling bad is an emotional response that is telling us to do something. When we feel bad about people in our lives, it is a cue to reach out and try again. When we feel bad about our work, it is a cue to re-evaluate our efforts and goals. Feeling bad about our bodies is a cue to reconnect.
BODY RECONNECTION TECHNIQUES THAT WORK
- Spend 2-min stretching
- Drink a glass of water right out of bed in the morning
- Spend some time on your appearance
- Reflect on your clothes—which clothes do you own that feel good to your body and also give you confidence?
Read more about reconnection and how it is achieve in the No Weigh app.
It’s Your Day
Feeling bad about your body is just a temporary situation. It does not mean that there is anything to actually feel bad about. Listen to the what the “feeling bad” is telling you. Believe this: there is always a message and there is always a helpful response.
Are you ready for something different?
